Cats who eat birds, lizards, and insects are the healthiest. This food (prey) has all the protein and vitamins a cat needs. If the cat becomes too fat, he/she cannot catch the food anymore and a necessary diet is forced by nature. Once the cat is fit to catch its food, it can eat again. Don't let your cat be a "Bustoph...more

I would be involved in petitions, writing politicians, going door to door, conducting surveys, giving speeches to legalize pot, but I'm always too stoned to get off of my couch. Hey, man can you please get up and pass me the bong?

Hey Pop, how about a pot Lollipop? It'll make you jolly you old mean, irony, old man.

I'm from Mississippi and when I left the state I promised that I would never go back. Well, I AM going back now and I'm going to catch this guy. No one shoots an innocent elephant in my home state and gets away with it. What will all the baboons think?

I like elephants. While traveling in India, the train lost my trunk with my clothes and money in it. I didn't know what I was going to do. A kind elephant in the next passenger car lent me his trunk for the next week. Of course, his clothes (elepants) didn't fit, but he didn't want to be paid back for his money that I ...more

Remember the Broadway musical "Cats"? Simba is only one of his names, his family every-day  name. A cat must have three different names. Macavity  is his unique name that no other cat has. As you can see in the above picture, this cat is in deep thought!  His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation....... Of the thou...more

I won't tell that you have herpes on your lips if you don't tell I have herpes on my penis.

I smoked pot in the house. I smoked it with a mouse. I smoked it in the yard. I smoked it playing a card. I smoked it in the woods and I from it from where I stood. I smoked it the Capital and I smoked it in the hood. I smoked it in a car and I smoked it on a Hollywood star . I smoked it up close and I smoked it from a...more

Now we know why Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. She was too high.