What do you call a dog with no legs?   Dosen't matter, he won't come anyway.

Here in New Mexico we are on year 3 of a severe drought ...   Yet our Elected Officals refuse to ban firework sales. Seems the financial impact on these vendors outweighs loss of private property and National Forest.   Stayed tuned, Arizona is a tenderbox as well...

Sticks out like a TURD in a bakery window.

Wrong thread dude...   This is the bash Michelle-a-thon.

Nice Avatar...   Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

Anyone who says Money can't buy you Happiness...   Does'nt know where to shop.

And the flight home on AirForce 1 was right out of a scene from the movie Airplane...     Obama: You know wha' they say: See a broad to get that bodiac lay'er down an' smack 'em yack 'em. Subtitle: EARLY TO BED, EARLY TO RISE, MAKES A MAN HEALTHY, WEALTHY AND WISE.

I'd buy my girlfriend Nancy a new Comic Strip and a makeover. Then I would contribute to the Comic Strip Character Retirement Home where many of my friends like Betty Boop, Popeye and Dagwood have been confined.   Then I would have myself digitally remastered.

Gay or Straight...   Once the kid turns 16 they will hate you none the less.   ...have fun with that.