The joy of gluttony and the agony of diarrhea.

The families can't be THAT rich if they're going to Disney World.

Yeah, scrambling eggs and making pancakes must be as labor-intensive as forgetting to place the bottom half of the bun in my McRib sandwich.

The burgers look so good that I can make them at home.

So, if you sign your name with an 'X', I should assume you make more than me?

I wouldn't call a school that pumps out corn-fed duh-doys bullying - he's calling it like it is.

Sigh...people are too dumb to realize that frozen pizza is just salt.

"Today" keeps a smug, arrogant anchorman, a weatherman that publicly sharts his pants, and a drunkard with uncontrollable facial tics - par for the course for NBC.

When the calculator met his date, he said "58008 07734" upside down.