A shorter article would be his "Successes."

Welcome to the "Glee" nation.

Looks like a bag of antlers.

I really hope that they don't have children...  Too many people like this have already done so.

Perhaps a burqa would be more fitting to the Mormon church.  Just because an attractive woman makes your oppressed mind go straight to the gutter doesn't mean it turns every man woman and child into a slobbering sex fiend. Move to Iraq where you won't be tempted by the sight of her bare wrists and ankles.